Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're a waste of cheezeits
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
