Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize