She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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