Heybabeimwearingurpanties
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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