i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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