Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
