True but thats because hes a fetus.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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