I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
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The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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