yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
