I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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