He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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