I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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