Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Randomize
