Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
