Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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