3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
