Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.

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  (515): She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body. http://tfl.nu/lybk
  Replies (6) Good night (592) Bad night (2238)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.

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  (215): I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume. http://tfl.nu/pw0v
  Replies (19) Good night (1339) Bad night (3885)
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  (925): View more from California

  I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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  (925): I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me http://tfl.nu/miwp
  Replies (26) Good night (6102) Bad night (793)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

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  (613): ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money. http://tfl.nu/in19
  Replies (33) Good night (5893) Bad night (1238)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Now he's lighting his socks on fire

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  (920): Now he's lighting his socks on fire http://tfl.nu/p3kv
  Replies (9) Good night (2747) Bad night (1195)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly

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  (412): My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly http://tfl.nu/ipod
  Replies (10) Good night (4932) Bad night (1079)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...

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  (404): Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february... http://tfl.nu/39i3
  Replies (6) Good night (4397) Bad night (898)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.

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  (815): There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed. http://tfl.nu/rw7p
  Replies (4) Good night (3154) Bad night (815)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.

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  (937): The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it. http://tfl.nu/hbg0
  Replies (9) Good night (2505) Bad night (873)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.

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  (613): I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone. http://tfl.nu/7z2d
  Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (510)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.

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  (443): well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/je7g
  Replies (2) Good night (1693) Bad night (673)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.

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  (202): I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects. http://tfl.nu/vyxz
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (349)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  That should be the title of my autobiography.

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  (716): Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass. (269): That should be the title of my autobiography. http://tfl.nu/pdg7
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (325)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them

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  (614): barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them http://tfl.nu/5wg0
  Replies (6) Good night (639) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning

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  (716): Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning http://tfl.nu/4lcz
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (596)

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