Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead