It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
