Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad