Yo dont text me then not text me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
