I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
