It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
