i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
