wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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