Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
