Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
