apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
