My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
if only i could text you this smell
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize