great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
