I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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