I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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