Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
