nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
