That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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