Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
