I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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