I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
