Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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