Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
