I just pynch a tree in the face
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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