...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
