I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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