im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
