i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
