I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
