In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize