theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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