is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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