so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
