the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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