I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize