Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
