I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Randomize
