Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
