I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
