My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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