He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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