of course. lets lasso hookers.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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