some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
