I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
