This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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