Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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