So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
