yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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