Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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